Episodes

Step inside, press a button, and prepare for the impossible… two siblings face the ultimate test of imagination as they step into an elevator where every floor leads to the impossible. Do you step into the childhood bedroom frozen in time? Or claim the deserted beach as your kingdom? Will you embrace the puppies… or climb into the dream treehouse? And when the doors open to an unthinkable choice - what do you do?

Forget body spray - this week, we sample a new line of fictional sprays: Knowledge-in-a-Can, Extra Luck Mist, and the always-handy Instant Healing Fog. Warning: side effects may include overthinking and uncontrollable laughter. Our only problem? Deciding which magical can to crack open first. Come join my daughter Melissa McParland and I on this week’s Dysfunctional Dialogue.

For some reason, the more we drank, the more silly things became. Who would’ve guessed? Come join Steve Macaluso and I for a weekend mid-day drink-fest and enjoy the spectacle as things deteriorate along the way.

Some podcasts explore philosophy. Ours explores what happens when everyday activities sound suspiciously like pillow talk. This week is proof that if you listen closely enough, the entire world is one big innuendo. Yoga, gardening, painting, pool toys—no hobby is safe. Spoiler: it gets weird fast. Enjoy, again, with guests Debbie McParland and Steve Macaluso!

Have you ever mistaken things said at the dentist or gym for things happening in the bedroom? Well, we sure hope not. But if you do, this episode might shine a light on that and more. Join me with great friend Steve Macaluso and my beautiful wife Debbie as we get downright silly with innuendos and more.

Friendship isn’t built on compliments—it’s built on brutal honesty, absurd jokes, and taking shots at each other. We’ve got all three covered this week as we laugh, roast, and we remind each other of fun and embarrassing moments. After all, that’s what friends are for. Join me for some fun with my wife Debbie and my good friend Bill Schories.

My wonderful wife Debbie and longtime friend Bill Schories join me for a ride that starts with production disasters, slides into college flashbacks, and ends up in a game of innuendo-filled one-liners. This week’s episode is proof that the detours are where the real fun lives.

Pulling back the curtain and rewinding to the embarrassing and mischievous events of our youth including the time my romantic gesture got confiscated, a school ‘break-in’ was rewarded with academic improvements, and The Kiss with a Twist. Oh … and apparently, our marriage is now just a job! Please join my wife and I on “My Future Wife”, as we rip off the bandage on some awkward moments, discuss a fool-proof way to quit smoking and rehash some fun times beginning way back in 7th grade.

We’ve made peace with the fact that life is ridiculous — and death might be, too. This week, we swap stories of our low-budget childhood, dabble with the supernatural, and discover that a drunken Ouija board is less a portal to the other side and more a comedy prop. You are invited to lean in close, turn down the lights, and follow a conversation that wanders between the ludicrous and the mysteries of the afterlife. You’ll laugh. You’ll shiver. And when it’s over… you just might look over your s...

Some questions don’t need answers and others should be avoided entirely. Of course…that didn’t stop us! Come join me with my sister Erin, as we take a wonderfully immature and hilarious stroll down the hypothetical hallway.

Warning: Opinions May Not Be Vetted. In this week’s episode of Dysfunctional Dialogue, meet Jacob Carriero, “The Lone Sane Man”, who has proven that confidence often outruns reality. Come enjoy the person who boldly mistook wild guesses for gospel truth with the confidence of a child and the certainty of a prophet. You may know him… but not by his real name. This exceptional young man doesn’t just think outside the box - he sometimes denies the box even exists. All Hail the logically illogical O...

In a world where common sense took a backseat… two kids armed with nothing but a cardboard box, a questionable mattress, and a dream, dared to defy gravity – and basic safety. This week, we dive headfirst (sometimes literally) into our reckless youth and also tackle some unsettling “would you rathers” – like choosing between a frayed bungee cord or a parachute full of holes, and whether you'd rather record the world with your eyes or your ears… forever. It’s ridiculous. It’s reckless. It’s a g...

Peanut butter & beef jerky. Pasta & ketchup. Cigars & cheese puffs. The culinary crimes are real - and so is Cousin Clash Pt. 2. Continuing the nonsense where we left off with Melissa McParland and Olivia Carriero

What do toxic cookies, getting “Ape’d” and fake pharmaceuticals have in common? Just your average day in our family. In this episode of Dysfunctional Dialogue “Cousin Clash”, I’m joined by my daughter Melissa McParland and niece Olivia Carriero as we dive into the absurd, the nostalgic, and the wildly inappropriate tales of childhood chaos. Hear about the time a terribly unfortunate tattoo had to be rebranded as an olive branch (for reasons you’ll soon understand), the cookie recipe that nearl...

In a world where mind reading is painful…One dungeon holds too many secrets…And pants... are no longer just for legs… some chaotic early episodes give birth to something dysfunctional, something… unforgettable. From the makers of “How to Treat a Date” and “Half-Baked” comes a mash-up no one asked for— "Best Bits: The Early Days"

Old friends, forgotten tales, and college stories that should’ve stayed buried... But We Hit ‘Record’ Instead! Join us, as Mike Esposito and I pick up the fun, right where we left off in Part 1, and continue to pry open the dusty memory drawers and joined for a bit on an odd shopping trip with Brian Smith.

Some memories are too funny - or too ridiculous - not to resurface. In this episode, three college buddies crack open dusty mental drawers unearthing forgotten tales of chaos, poor decisions, an international incident and an unusual fondness for dumpster slime. Join me for a great conversation with Mike Esposito and Brian Smith!

Three friends. Many drinks. Zero filters. This marmot maelstrom is the kind of discussion that makes you wonder: “Should I be laughing at this?” (Answer: Absolutely!) Join me, along with Steve Macaluso and Steve Aselta, for a beer-fueled, hiss-laughing, banter that you should probably not play at work…or around pets. From light-hearted fun memories to a new meaning for a Frosty and a Santa joke so lewd it might get him banned from the North Pole.

Busted by the cops. Will they get locked up or get away scot-free? Join me as my wonderful daughter Melissa and I discuss some of our brushes with the law and muse over hot wet garbage day and other charms of NYC.

Nipples for Fingers? ... and other existential hot potatoes. Welcome to Part 2 of Good and Evil with Erin McParland. Waxing philosophical and nonsensical. With a special tribute to the late, great, Chuck Howe.

Sibling Smackdown, Mental Plot Twists and a Brush with the Law!. Come join me with my, fun-loving, sister Erin as we go deep into the memories and roll with some hypothetical Hijinx.

Suddenly you're a fetus again. And other odd twists and turns as I trade wisdom for weirdness with one of the sharpest wits out there. Come join me with my son, Alex.

Grab your popcorn and beverage and enjoy the surround sound laughter as John and Steve further explore the lifelong, offbeat, odyssey of Chris Petrillo.

Grab your popcorn and beverage and enjoy the surround sound laughter as John and Steve further explore the lifelong, offbeat, odyssey of Chris Petrillo.